Why Consider Premarital Counseling with a Christian Counselor

"‘Til death do us part.” It’s a beautiful thought—until about three years into marriage when you realize you don’t really know the person you married.

Maybe it’s a disagreement that escalates in ways you never expected. Maybe it’s unspoken expectations, different approaches to finances, or clashing communication styles. Suddenly, the person you once knew so well feels unfamiliar.

What if you could address these challenges before they arise? That’s exactly what premarital counseling is designed to do.

What Is Premarital Counseling?

Premarital counseling is a form of therapy that helps couples prepare for marriage by identifying potential areas of conflict and strengthening their relationship before they say, “I do.” A trained counselor walks couples through important topics such as communication, conflict resolution, finances, faith, and family dynamics—helping them build a strong foundation for marriage.

Premarital counseling isn’t about questioning whether you should get married. It’s about equipping you with the tools to navigate marriage well.

My Experience with Premarital Counseling

When my husband and I decided to get married, we thought we knew everything about each other. We had been close friends for years, had long conversations about life, love, and faith, and even read premarital books together. But when we started premarital counseling, we quickly realized there were still crucial conversations left to have. Some of them were uncomfortable, even challenging, but in the end, those discussions only reinforced that we were making the right choice. Instead of going into marriage with blind optimism, we walked into it with our eyes wide open.

One of the biggest revelations came through the Prepare/Enrich Assessment, which highlighted both our strengths and the areas that needed work. While we both came from families of six and moved often, our experiences were vastly different. My husband had spent his entire life in the U.S., while I had grown up in France. That shaped our communication styles, attachment patterns, and cultural expectations in ways we hadn’t fully considered before. Counseling helped us see how these differences influenced our relationship and gave us practical ways to navigate them with understanding.

Why Premarital Counseling Matters

Many couples assume that because they love each other, marriage will come naturally. But love alone doesn’t guarantee a strong marriage—intentional preparation does.

Studies show that couples who engage in premarital counseling have a 30 percent higher marital success rate than those who don’t (healthresearchfunding.org). Counseling provides a safe space to explore important topics before they become sources of tension in marriage.

Some key areas that premarital counseling addresses include:

• Communication Skills – Learning how to express thoughts, emotions, and expectations effectively.
• Conflict Resolution – Developing healthy strategies for managing disagreements. Studies show that 65 percent of divorces cite communication issues as a primary reason (yellinlaw.com).
• Financial Management – Aligning financial goals and discussing habits around budgeting, saving, and spending. Financial disagreements impact 28 to 38 percent of couples (duncanfamilylaw.com).
• Spiritual Compatibility – Ensuring that faith remains a central pillar of the marriage.
• Family and Parenting Expectations – Recognizing how childhood experiences shape expectations for marriage and family life.
• Intimacy and Past Experiences – Setting healthy expectations for emotional and physical connection.

Premarital counseling doesn’t prevent every challenge in marriage, but it equips couples with the tools to handle them well.

The Benefit of a Christian Counselor

While many couples seek guidance from pastors or mentors, working with a trained Christian therapist offers a blend of biblical wisdom and evidence-based techniques to help couples navigate marriage with greater depth.

A Christian counselor provides:

• Deeper exploration of sensitive topics – Helping couples understand how attachment styles, past experiences, and family dynamics influence their marriage.
• Structured assessments – Using tools like Prepare/Enrich to identify strengths and areas for growth.
• Faith-centered psychological insights – Combining biblical principles with practical strategies for a thriving marriage.
• Breaking unhealthy patterns – Identifying and replacing destructive communication habits before they cause long-term issues.
• Healing past wounds – Addressing unresolved family-of-origin issues that may affect marriage dynamics.

Looking back, I often wonder how much more we could have gained from a trained Christian therapist who specialized in these areas. While we benefited greatly from our lay counselor, having structured, expert guidance could have helped us navigate certain conversations earlier and with more clarity.

Is Premarital Counseling Right for You?

If you’re engaged or considering marriage, invest in your future together.

Marriage is one of the most significant commitments of your life. Premarital counseling doesn’t mean you doubt your relationship—it means you care enough to prepare for its success.

If you’re ready to build a strong foundation for your marriage, we would love to walk alongside you. Our Christian premarital counseling sessions are designed to help couples grow in love, faith, and understanding.

Take the first step today. 

Written by Rebecca Muyres, LPC, CPCS, RPT-S, CCTP, CATP