Friendships That Last: Keeping It Real and Avoiding the Drama

Friendships can be one of the best parts of life. Having someone to laugh with, talk to, and just be yourself around is pretty special. But let’s be honest—not all friendships are easy. To build strong, lasting connections, it’s important to set boundaries, communicate openly, and know how to handle challenges when they come up.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

A good friendship is built on mutual respect. That means understanding each other’s needs and making sure no one feels overwhelmed or unappreciated.

• Know What Feels Right for You – Think about what makes you comfortable and what crosses a line. Maybe you enjoy spending time together but also need space to recharge. That’s completely okay.
• Speak Up When Something Feels Off – If a friend keeps borrowing your things without asking or makes jokes at your expense, it’s important to address it. You might say, “Hey, I feel uncomfortable when you take my things without asking. Can we talk about it?”
• Respect Works Both Ways – Just as you set boundaries, be mindful of the ones your friends set too. If someone asks for space, give it to them without taking it personally.

Communicating Effectively

Good communication helps prevent misunderstandings from turning into full-blown conflicts. Here’s how to keep things smooth:

• Listen, Don’t Just Wait to Talk – When your friend is venting, really listen instead of just thinking about what you’ll say next. Ask questions to show you care.
• Use “I” Statements – Instead of saying, “You’re so mean for ignoring me,” try, “I felt hurt when I wasn’t included.” This makes conversations less confrontational.
• Address Issues Early – If something is bothering you, bring it up before it turns into a bigger problem. Holding things in only makes them harder to resolve later.

When a Friend Acts Differently Around Others

Sometimes, a friend who is warm and kind when it’s just the two of you may act distant or different in a group setting. This can be confusing and hurtful, but here’s what you can do:

• Look for Patterns – If it happens once, it might just be an off day. But if they consistently leave you out or change how they treat you in front of others, it’s worth addressing.
• Talk About It – You could say, “I’ve noticed that when we’re with a group, you don’t talk to me the same way. Is something going on?”
• Decide What’s Best for You – If they continue to make you feel like an afterthought, they may not be the right friend for you. A real friend values you no matter who else is around.

Friendship and Faith

Friendships matter to God, and the Bible offers wisdom on how to build meaningful connections. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times,” reminding us that real friendship is about consistency and care. Proverbs 27:17 tells us, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Good friends help each other grow into better people. Surround yourself with those who uplift and encourage you, and strive to be that kind of friend in return.

Find Friends Who Lift You Up

At the end of the day, friendships should bring joy, support, and positivity into your life. Look for people who make you laugh, encourage you, and accept you for who you are. If you’re struggling with friendships, feeling left out, or just want to strengthen your connections, we’re here to help. Reach out to us today and take the next step toward building relationships that truly last.

Written by Rebecca Muyres, LPC, CPCS, RPT-S, CCTP