From Surviving to Healing:Tools for calming anxiety

In my last blog, I opened up about how anxiety has shown up in every season of my life—childhood, ballet, motherhood, relationships, and even my faith journey. If you’ve walked through any of that too, I hope you left that post feeling seen and a little less alone.

Today, I want to go a step further. Not just to talk about anxiety—but to share what has actually helped.

These are the tools I’ve leaned on myself, and the same ones I now teach to clients in my therapy practice. They’re not quick fixes, and they don’t make life suddenly anxiety-free. But they do offer relief, clarity, and—over time—true healing.

And here’s the good news: You don’t have to master these all at once. Think of this as a toolbox. Use what fits. Try what resonates. Leave the rest for later.

1. 🌬 Deep Breathing — The First Step Out of Panic

When anxiety hijacks your body, your breath is often the first thing to go. I’ve had to train myself—literally—to pause and breathe.

Try this:

• One hand on your chest, one on your stomach.

• Inhale for 4 counts… hold for 4… exhale for 6.

It may sound simple, but it’s powerful. Deep breathing helps tell your nervous system: “I’m safe right now. I don’t have to run.”

2. 🌿 Grounding Techniques — Come Back to the Present

Anxiety is usually future-focused. Grounding brings us back to now.

One of my go-to tools (even in public restrooms or my kitchen during parenting chaos!) is the 5-4-3-2-1 method:

• 5 things you can see

• 4 things you can touch

• 3 things you can hear

• 2 things you can smell

• 1 thing you can taste

This simple tool helps anchor you when your mind starts spiraling.

3. 🧠 Cognitive Defusion — You Are Not Your Thoughts

Anxiety lies. It says things like: “I’m going to fail.” “I can’t handle this.” “Something bad is going to happen.”

Cognitive defusion (a CBT tool) helps you separate yourself from those thoughts.

Try saying:

“I’m noticing the thought that I’m going to mess this up.”

This small shift creates space between you and the thought. You become the observer—not the prisoner.

4. ✨ Positive Affirmations + Scripture — Rewiring With Truth

When my anxious thoughts were loud, I started replacing them with truth.

💛 Affirmations:

• I’m doing the best I can.

• This feeling will pass.

• I am not alone.

📖 Scripture:

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.” — Psalm 56:3 “Do not be anxious about anything... but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” — Philippians 4:6–7

I didn’t just read them—I spoke them out loud, over and over, until my heart began to believe them again.

5. 🤝 Honesty, Vulnerability, and Connection

Anxiety thrives in silence. I used to keep mine bottled up, especially as a therapist and a mom. But healing began the moment I started sharing my truth—with my husband, close friends, my therapist... and now, with you.

There is nothing weak about being vulnerable. It’s actually one of the bravest things we can do.

6. 💗 Self-Compassion and Grace — Letting Go of the Inner Critic

Anxiety and perfectionism often go hand-in-hand. I used to believe that if I didn’t get it just right, I was failing.

But then I started learning to speak to myself like I’d speak to a hurting child:

“It makes sense that you feel overwhelmed right now.” “You’re allowed to feel this.” “You don’t have to do it all perfectly.” “God’s grace is enough. Even here.”

That grace has been a lifeline.

Final Thoughts

Anxiety may still visit me—but I’m not afraid of it anymore. These tools didn’t erase the anxiety overnight, but they gave me my power back. They helped me build a life where fear no longer runs the show.

🌻 If You’re in the Thick of It, Take Heart:

• Help exists.

• Healing is possible.

• And you're already doing one of the bravest things: seeking support.

Next Steps

If you’re ready to go deeper, consider reaching out to a therapist who understands anxiety and the whole-person approach to healing. You deserve that support.

In upcoming blog posts, I’ll be walking through each of these tools step-by-step, including real-life examples and ways to adapt them for parenting, relationships, and your spiritual life.

You don’t have to do this alone. Let’s keep walking together.

💬 Need more support? Reach out to a counselor or trusted mentor. We’re here for you at Creative Family Counseling & Coaching.

💌 Know someone who’s struggling with anxiety? Forward this blog to them—you never know who needs the encouragement.